I hate food.

I'm really tired of eating.

I seriously wonder if it is just me, or if everyone hits a point in life where eating is a chore.

I hate deciding what to eat. Not only do I have to do it for myself and this baby I feed intravenously, but for the other little monkeys hanging on me when I open the fridge. How am I supposed to decide what everyone wants to eat?? Especially when there are a total of 2 meals all three kids will eat!!!

It might not be so bad if I wasn't educated--if I didn't know so much about which foods or ingredients turn into fat fastest and what kinds of variety of things I should be eating every day. If I could go to the store and buy what looked or tasted good. If ice cream for every meal wouldn't negatively effect me in so many ways. If the easy foods weren't so fattening. And the fattening foods didn't make me feel sick for enjoying them when I do.

It might not be so bad if my husband (who is 6' 4'') and I weren't separated on the scale by only a few tinsy little pounds, and his pants still fit around me. I know I'll loose a few pounds really quickly, but I can SEE the pounds that have become my thigh's best friends back there on my butt, and they aren't budgin'--not without a lot of sweat!!

So maybe it's not so much that I hate food, I just hate that the healthy food I 'should' eat right now is WORK, and doesn't taste as good as the 'other stuff'. Even tonight...I didn't have to think of anything for anyone but me. We have a week's worth of left-overs stashed in our amazing fridge (it's new to us, and larger than we've ever had), so it wasn't like I had to actually 'make' anything. BUT, when it came down to it, I didn't want a hamburger, cause then I'd have to slice a tomato. I didn't want the Spanish Rice dip stuff, cause then I'd want chips, and they're not healthy. I didn't want the chicken patty cause I already had chicken today and I'm supposed to have variety. I didn't want a Sloppy Joe cause I ate it yesterday.
Seriously?!!

Veggies. Now these are hard. They are relatively easy. However there are very few I can pallet unless they are cooked, and who wants cooked veggies when it's over 80 degrees in their house???

It's times like these I wish I was irresponsible and would just go to a nice restaurant every day and order the 'healthy' things and just let someone else cook and clean (and have AC)...but then I'd have to leave the house, so I probably wouldn't do that anyway--I only have a couple outfits fit for leaving the house.

Besides, now that I decided on and ate the hamburger (which wasn't the healthiest choice anyway, but did taste better with the tomato I sliced), it's coming back up...there's no room anywhere for food!

I hate food.